Pen's Tumblings

Warning, don’t look if you are going to be upset, I couldn’t watch more than a few minutes.

My two middle kids have just come back from visiting their grandparents, we were talking about what they did and how they helped. Then 16 told me her grandmother had been watching a BBC programme last night about abuse in care homes for young people with special needs.

I don’t know if this will play outside the UK but you can click here to see it on iPlayer if you would like to see for yourself.

I got as far as the opening credits when 18 made me put it off before he got upset.

In that time it showed a young girl having her hand stood on while she tried to hide under a chair to get away from some big bloke, another young girl, who could be 12 in a few years, getting a jug of water thrown over her, a young man having his leg kicked out from behind him at the knee so he fell on the floor.

Why on earth do people work in care homes if they aren’t up to it? Are they all sadists? Do they go in to this with the intention to hurt? Does something happen to them while they are there? Do they see weakness and need and have that trigger some primal part of them that wants to take advantage?

As you know our lives with 12 is no picnic. She is demanding, a full time job. In six years she will come to the end of her schooling and then what? Her nurse has been gently trying to bring me round over the years to the idea that moving on at age 19 to some sort of residential care would be progress. After all, don’t most kids move out and have their own lives? It would be normal. She would be gaining some independence.

Huh.

I feel sick. 

When we have any kids, regardless of special needs or not, we trust all sorts of people to take due care of them. Nursery workers, babysitters, teachers, class room assistants, the list is almost endless. We HAVE to trust them. If we didn’t our kids would never get to do anything unless we were able to do it with them. Kids need to meet other people and have a life beyond us. 

But, how could anyone trust when this goes on? I can imagine the pain and horror of the parents of these young people discovering what their kids endured. 

How can anyone tell me I should let my kid live in residential care? 

I know it is demanding, I know it is draining and at times frustrating but really, if they can’t cope they should just resign. It’s no shame, working with people with special needs is not for everyone.